The Unhappy Yucca [en]

[fr] Le yucca de l'eclau n'est pas heureux.

There is a very unhappy Yucca at eclau. Here he is:

Unhappy Eclau Yucca 1.jpg

As you can see, his lower leaves are drying out in huge quantities. By the time I remembered to take a photo, I had already cleared about half out:

Unhappy Eclau Yucca 3.jpg

You can see which way they’re drying out, and the speckles on the dry leaves:

Unhappy Eclau Yucca 5.jpg

Unhappy Eclau Yucca 4.jpg

Even the new leaves are not happy:

Unhappy Eclau Yucca 2.jpg

It might be overwatering (I’ve hung a “don’t water” sign on him now) but I suspect something more problematic like lack of light. It doesn’t get any direct sunshine where it is, and eclau sometimes stays closed (blinds down) all week-end. Not great for a yucca.

I don’t see a solution to this because this guy is huge. There is nowhere else he will fit. The yucca was brought to eclau ages ago by one of the coworkers and was left there when he departed. I’ve always had a bit of trouble fitting him somewhere, not to mention that he first came with hordes of little black “rot flies” (dunno how to call them in English).

So, I suspect it’ll come down to this:

  • make sure it’s not an illness (anybody?)
  • chop chop chop him down, cut the arms off
  • repot the stump and put it somewhere happier
  • repot the tops (I’ve read you just stick them in soil and they’ll root) for three smaller yuccas which can go live in happier places

Ideas and advice welcome, specially if you know what’s going on here.

The Bittersweet Freedom of Catlessness [en]

[fr] Visite féline durant le mois à venir. Je garde Kitty, le chat d'une de mes anciennes cat-sitteuses. Juste retour des choses, et occasion d'une réflexion sur ma vie sans chat/avec chat.

Bagha's spot on my desk

I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite a few months. What prompts me to write it now is that there is a cat in my flat, and will be for the next month. Kitty belongs to a friend of mine, who is going abroad for a month. She used to cat-sit Bagha back in the day. So, I’m taking care of Kitty for her while she’s away.

Kitty is a shy character, maybe a leftover of her past life as a stray. I have been trying to coax her out from under a piece of furniture with little bits of ham — and my plan for making friends over the next weeks involves clicker-training. You’ll get photographs once she comes out of hiding.

Over the last months, saddened though I was by Bagha’s death, I have been enjoying the freedom of catlessness. I have travelled a lot (maybe too much), and appreciated being able to stay elsewhere overnight on a whim without feeling bad about leaving my cat alone. (One could discuss how justified feeling bad about leaving Bagha alone for a night was, but that’s another topic.)

Now that I’m clearly out of the acute stage of grief, and that my catless life seems very normal, I wonder how I’ll feel about giving up some of that freedom again for furry companions. Of course, the freedom you give up for an animal when its young and healthy is not the same as when it is old and declining. (Kittens, though, are another story. I’m not sure I want kittens. Kittens are cute. Of course I’d love kittens. But I’m not sure I want to go through a year of having baby cats in the house.)

I’m not finding it too difficult to enjoy my freedom. I thought I would be more conflicted about it. Feeling bad about being happy to be free [because I don’t have a cat anymore]. I was a bit, intially. Now… sometimes I even forget to be sad. I think that’s a good sign.

This month with Kitty, in addition to helping out a friend, is also an opportunity for me to be “with cat” again. Another cat than Bagha. I mentioned that one of the things I needed to do to sort through my grieving emotions was separate my sadness of losing Bagha from my sadness of being catless. Maybe the coming month will be a chance to tie up a few loose ends around that theme.

In Praise of the Morning Routine [en]

[fr] Avoir une routine matinale à laquelle on se tient, ça aide (même quand on a eu une panne d'oreiller, comme moi ce matin!)

I have a morning routine. From wake-up to office, it takes roughly 90 minutes. I don’t hurry. I don’t look at the time. I just go through it.

It’s a way to start the day, a way to wake up before staring at my inbox or getting started with work. It also means that for 90 minutes at the start of the day, I don’t have to make any choices or take any decisions.

There are times when I’m not good at sticking to it. But in general, I’ve noticed that the days, weeks or months when I do tend to go better. Not confusing correlation with causation, here: I’m very well aware that if I have the leisure to not be in a rush in the morning and take those 90 minutes, it means I’m not running around putting out fires all the time. True too, though, that if I am putting out fires but do manage to preserve this morning time of mine, I am managing to firewall some downtime from the madness of the rest of the day. In this way, my morning routine is not just a health indicator of my life, but also a took I can use to influence it.

This morning, I overslept. I had blocked a full day of work in the office, and I woke up three hours later than I had planned. Normally, when that happens, I rush downstairs to the office as fast as I can and get on with my day. This morning, I had second thoughts:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/stephtara/status/98311606978625536″]

Well, I listend to Nicole’s (and others’) advice and followed my gut: stick with the morning routine. Waking up late is annoying enough without throwing “my time” out of the window on top of it. And if I needed to sleep 10 hours straight, well so be it.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/cncx/status/98312585681715200″]

I now have a new “rule”: stick with the morning routine. If I needed extra sleep, well, let that eat into work or evening time, not morning and “get going” time.

Consequences for today: I worked later than I’d initially planned, and decided to give up going to a barbecue in the evening. But I went through my day without feeling crap.

So, you’re wondering, what do I do during those 90 minutes? No big mystery. My morning routine intially crept up on me (result of too much unstructured life) and was fertilized by my discovery of FlyLady (who, amongst other things, insists on the importance of routines). My morning routine is pretty much what it was 2 years ago:

  • get up, straighten bed
  • neti pot if necessary, wash any leftover dishes (ideally)
  • hop into exercise clothes, do sit-ups, 30 minutes on the bike, stretch a bit
  • shower, get dressed, have breakfast
  • prepare my stuff and head out/downstairs

Not much to do for 90 minutes, see. I often also take a few minutes to check Twitter, or play a level of Plants vs. Zombies on my iPhone (warning: crack-addictive).

Do you have a morning routine? (Coffee drinkers, you do — even if you don’t think you do.)

 

Plantgasm: I Love Plants Too! [en]

[fr] Mes plantes!

A few months ago, I discovered Derek‘s new blog Plantgasm. Derek and I have met a few times, but to be honest, I had no idea (or had completely forgot) that he loved plants.

I’ve spent a few hours (in a couple of sittings) since then reading through his entries and looking at his photos. You should do so too if you have any interest in green growing things!

I’ve always liked plants too, and from the moment I moved into “my new room” at my parents’ (bigger, downstairs, cat-compatible — I was 9) I remember inviting plants in to share my living space. (No huge surprise here, there were plants all over the house already, and given the amount of time my dad spent and still spends tending the garden, he probably also likes plants.)

My Plants 8.jpg

My balcony plants

In Montreal earlier this year, I realized something important about myself: I’m not a city person. As in — and it’s become increasingly obvious these last years — though I like living in Lausanne-City, I’m really happy outdoors, on the lake, in the mountains, on the balcony, and doing stuff with plants and animals. And I guess living “in town” in Lausanne works because Lausanne is such a tiny village, and I live almost out of town (translate “10 minutes away from the centre”).

So, my flat is full of plants, and for the last two years I’ve been going “heck, I really need to repot them and chop some down”. Well, this spring, I got to work. And, even though I’m a bit tired of documenting my life, as I mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to show you some of my green pets. My photos are nowhere as nice as Derek’s, of course, but better than none!

These two are among my favorite (as far as I’ve been able to figure out, begonia maculata or tamaya, though they are clearly different variations, one having way bigger leaves than the other).

My Plants 14.jpg

This guy regularly falls off his perch when he gets top-heavy and I forget to water him. He’s recently graced us with flowers (maybe the fertilizer helped!) and I have a bunch of cuttings growing in various pots.

My Plants 1.jpg My Plants 10.jpg

Here’s the little brother, also very easy to reproduce and regularly gracing me with pink flowers.

My Plants 5.jpg

Higher up, you caught a glimpse of the chopped-off-and-repotted top of my monstera deliciosa.

My Plants 11.jpg

There used to be two stalks 🙂

My problem was triple: the plant was getting huge, all the lower leaves had fallen off, and the stem at the base of the plant was very thin and sickly. So I started the big monstera reduction and multiplication operation. (It actually started a couple of years back when I chopped off the last leaf of both stems and repotted them — happily in my kitchen now — but it just shifted the problem a few centimeters to the right or left.)

In addition to chopping off and repotting the healthy leafy part of the plant, I had some fun untangling the roots (hadn’t realized how long they were!) and tried some experiments: sticking bits of roots in pots (attached to the plant or not), and also sections of stem with no leaf but some root. So far, it seems that “root in pot” doesn’t work very well. The jury is still out for “leafless stem in pot”.

As you can see in the two photos below, the monstera has started budding at the bottom of both stems. I’m going to wait and watch before doing anything rash.

My Plants 7.jpg

My Plants 6.jpg

Other members of my green family include this guy, recently brought back from the dead:

My Plants 15.jpg

A dracaena which was drowned too often and needs repotting:

My Plants 13.jpg

A banana tree that has recently produced offspring:

My Plants 12.jpg

A spider plant that’s reaching out:

My Plants 2.jpg

And a few more hanging out on the kitchen table and in various other parts of the flat:

My Plants 9.jpg

(Most of the photos have descriptive text, click on them to read a little more.)

Next steps, once I’ve got all the houseplants under control: a pallet garden and fun edible things on my balcony, more orchids, and… a fish tank in the office (yes, I know fish aren’t plants; they’re somewhere in between plants and cats).

Long Time No Blog [en]

[fr] De retour d'une bonne semaine de vacances, et très peu d'envie de trainer en ligne, même autour de Google+. Période de transition, pas tout à fait à l'équilibre. A tout hasard, je vais écrire un poil ici -- ça a en général bien marché par le passé.

Long time no blog, right? I have lots to write, but I’m also really enjoying my break from the online, and much tempted to spend most of my time away from the computer.

Computer = work, despite all, and after two months of work-overdose ending with a couple of nasty crises to take care of I really really am quite fed up with my work world. (Dear clients and prospective clients who may be reading this: fear not, I’m not going to disappear somewhere and start raising goats. I’m still here. I’m just enjoying the much-needed break. And you’ll enjoy my fresher brain when I’m back.)

Google+ is out, and even Suw is excited about it, but I just don’t feel like spending time on it. (I will, and have actually started but… I’m enjoying the break, remember?)

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I need to do to the way I run my “business” (= “work me”) and now have a plan, but I’m still in this slightly fuzzy place where although things are generally good, I’m not quite happy and know something’s gotta give. Like a chemical reaction that hasn’t reached equilibrium.

One of the things I’m noticing during this break is that I feel tired of documenting my life. Because it’s a lot of what I do: document. Maybe I’m going through a phase in life where I’m more “inward” than “outward”. Maybe I’ve just been working too much, had two difficult years, and need to breathe a bit. Time will tell. Something is tugging at me inside.

As often when things feel “not quite right” and I haven’t been blogging much, I’m going to start by writing here a bit more. I have a bunch of posts lined up — just need to write them without turning them into tentacled monsters.

 

From All to Nothing Doesn't Do it [en]

[fr] Quand on a couru durant des mois, c'est une erreur de s'arrêter net, au risque de se retrouver complètement déséquilibré. Mieux vaut lever le pied et continuer à un rythme tranquille, comme je suis en train de le faire avec mon horaire d'été "9-12".

It’s a secret to nobody around me that I’ve been pretty insanely busy these last months. Now the summer is here, I have holidays planned, and I need to regain my balance.

When I came back from Paris (I spent a few days there with Solar Impulse for the blogger breakfast we held there) I was pretty much done with deadly rythm of late June. You know, when you have things piled up on top of one another and hardly any breathing space between them. Yes, there were a few crises.

Anyway, when I came back from Paris, I decided to rest. For three-four days, I didn’t work at all. I lounged around, caught up on all the appointments I needed to take (hairdresser, dentist, osteopath and the like), and left the computer behind.

Unfortunately I still felt as stressed and tired. I wasn’t sleeping well. I wasn’t feeling well.

Sometime last week, I headed back to the office to get a few things done, ended up using the Pomodoro Technique and buddy-working with Steph to try and salvage my motivation.

I realized that I had made a mistake by stopping completely after my return from Paris. If you’ve been running like mad for two hours, and you reach the end of the race, you don’t lie down on the ground straight behind the finish line. You keep on going, gently, for a bit, walking. Once you’ve cooled down a bit you stop.

To make things worse, though I don’t have anything really terribly urgent to take care of (well, compared to what the last 3 weeks looked like), I have quite a lot of important stuff to move forward on. Making no progress at all was stressing me out.

I’ve therefore settled into my summer part-time schedule (from 9 to 12), maintaining the healthy mix of pomodoros and buddy working, and it’s doing wonders for my mood and my tiredness.

Radio Silence, Going to be Busy [en]

It’s going to be silent around here the coming week:

  • exams for the first batch of SAWI students who followed the social media and online communities course I co-direct (that means 10 30-page reports to grade by Wednesday)
  • Tuesday 14th evening, info session for said course, 2011-2012 class, in Lausanne (please spread the word)
  • still selecting bloggers for the Solar Impulse blogger breakfast in Paris, June 24th (with Bertrand Piccard and André Borschberg) — word spreading appreciated too 😉
  • the plane seems set to fly from Brussels to Paris tomorrow night (6pm to 2am) — stay updated through the Solar Impulse site (and @solarimpulse) and follow the flight live on the site!
  • oh, a judo exam next Saturday (not my exam, but I’m one of the actors ;-)) — that means lots of training next week
  • a talk to give next Monday, then heading off to Paris for Salon le Bourget!

I don’t like being this busy, but things are going to calm down come July.

Is This Too Much? [en]

[fr] Je crois que je fais beaucoup de choses 🙂

I do a lot of things. I’m pretty good at juggling. (Yikes, I promised Ian a review of his book Juggle! ages ago, and it’s still in draft state somewhere somewhere in my blog admin…)

Anyway. There are times, like now, where I pause and ask myself if I’m not doing too much. I’m not really asking you — only I can answer that question — so consider this a chance to peek in while I wonder out loud.

I knew I would have two very busy months in May-June, and I’m OK with that (the price I’m willing to pay for a really exciting gig that came through at the last minute).

But I realized this week-end that it’s been a long time since I’ve had a few days to myself at home. I’ve been running for way more than these last two months, and I don’t like running. I know it’s good to be busy for a freelancer, but there are different kinds of busy, and I can tell you there there is some bad busy in my busy.

(The reason I had a few days to myself at home is that I fell ill just before heading off to a 4-day judo training camp. I couldn’t go. I spent two days being “reasonably ill”, and the last two days I’ve been feeling much better and enjoying my unexpected free time.)

So, is this too much? Look at me wonder out loud. Here are my big, ongoing areas of activity — professional and less professional.

  • a “social media and blogger relations” gig with Solar Impulse (trip to Paris end of the month)
  • co-directing a course on social media and online communities (exam time: nowish)
  • editor for the ebookers.ch travel blog in French (and also contributor)
  • I manage a coworking space, eclau
  • my freelance activity is not limited to the four things mentioned above (not included: talks, short-term consulting and training, coaching sessions on WordPress…)
  • I’ve been asked to write a book (and am going to)
  • I do judo and am preparing an exam for in two weeks (not my exam, I did it last November: partner for a friend of mine who is doing hers)
  • I sing with Café-Café, though I’ve missed more rehearsals than I’ve attended over the past year 🙁
  • I go sailing (though I’ve had to sacrifice this spring’s regattas to judo training, and last year’s to singing)
  • I have a bunch of “light” hobbies like photography, reading, tending my plants (got orchids now!), going to the chalet, rollerblading…
  • Oh, I have a blog… you’re reading it
  • I also have a social life (I actually do) which includes family and close friends in other countries (and even other continents)
  • …not to mention that I’ve decided I needed to take proper holidays, which I’m doing (but that’s time off away from home).

I think that pretty much sums it up. I’m not sure how I manage 🙂 — but I do!

Keeping it to Myself [en]

[fr] Partager, c'est bien, mais tout partager, trop partager, tout raconter, tout vérifier, cela nous fait faire l'économie de vérifier qu'on peut tenir debout sur ses deux pieds par soi-même.

I’m a pretty open person. Too open, sometimes. Clearly, a lot of my life is on display online, though there are parts of it I keep completely offline.

In person, I talk about myself easily. I’m not very good at hiding what I think, so I tend to be in “all cards on the table” mode. It works pretty well for me. I think one of the things my clients appreciate is my honesty (and maybe my friends do, too).

But I realized over the last two years that being too open about my personal issues (this is in private/offline spaces, so you’ll be disappointed if you go hunting for stuff in this blog) does have some negative effects.

For example, I realized that once you have started telling somebody about something, it’s hard to stop in the middle of the story. Sometimes you don’t know where the story is taking you, and you might come to a point where you don’t feel like sharing it anymore.

More importantly, talking about certain emotionally charged things over and over and over and over again simply helps me stay wound up about them — whether they are good or bad things.

I spend a lot of time ruminating. Too much time. I self-analyze pretty much everything to death (and when I don’t, it’s stuff I’m pretty good at keeping myself from seeing, even in a conversation with a friend). I’m the kind of person who needs to “talk less, think less, and do more”.

So, I started not telling all my friends every single thing that was happening to me. The first step was delaying — waiting for 24 hours, for example. And I noticed that I was processing things differently. In a way, I was owning those moments and feelings more.

Another thing I did differently is I held back from asking for everybody’s opinion before every single decision I had to make. And when I did start experiencing being the sole stake-holder in some of my decisions, something interesting started to happen: my self-confidence grew.

It makes perfect sense: if you never experience dealing with something or making a choice on your own, then clearly you are sustaining a belief system (about yourself) where you are not capable of standing on your own two feet.

I’m not advocating clamming up or shutting people out. Sharing is great. I still share a lot.

I’ve just realized that systematic oversharing has its drawbacks, and that the most important drawback is not the risk of public exposure. It’s the damage it can do to your belief in yourself, by sparing you from experiencing that you actually can deal with stuff on your own.

Be Your Own Best Friend [en]

Many years ago I understood it was important that I treat myself as my own best friend. I’ve been trying to put that in practice ever since.

One of the ongoing issues in my life has been that even though I am a strong, dependable person for others, I would fail at being somebody that I could depend on.

I would let myself down a lot. I would resolve to do things, and watch my resolve disappear in a puff of smoke as soon as it was time to use it. I would let the dishes pile up, the flat get messy, and the fridge go empty. I would allow myself to stay up way past a reasonable bedtime, knowing I would pay for it later. In short, I’ve always had trouble taking good care of myself.

The strange thing was that I would have no problem doing those things for other people. I didn’t mind doing the dishes for a friend if I ate at their place. I would clean up my flat if I had guests coming. If I told a friend I would do something for them, I would show up — and do it.

So, the skill was there. And one day — I remember the scene clearly — it clicked. I realized that if I looked at the pile of dishes in the sink not as yet another thing I had to deal with, but as a favour to a good friend, it became much easier to do them.

Of course, it’s not magic. It doesn’t work all the time. There are long stretches of time where I completely forget to treat myself like a good friend.

But all in all, I’m getting much better at it. It’s helped me take charge of my life, rather than letting my life happen to me.

It’s cliché, but living one’s life for others is not sustainable. As adults, we are our primary — and really only — carer. Even surrounded by healthy relationships, friends, spouses, family, we are alone in life as we are alone before death. We are the only 100% stable being in our universe.

So, when things start getting a little out of hand in my life, like they regularly do, I try to remember: as I can and want to care for others, I can care for myself, take myself by the hand and do what needs to be done.

It actually boils down to a question of simple decision — and action — even when it’s not easy.

Your life belongs to you, and you are its sole gardener. Nobody else will do it for you.

Be your own best friend. Don’t let yourself down anymore.