More About Hearing Aids (And Geeking Out a Bit) [en]

[fr] Des nouvelles de mes aventures au pays des appareils auditifs: réflexions pour geeks et moins geeks, tant l'expérience humaine que la technologique sont passionnantes!

I got my hearing aids a month and a half ago, and I thought I’d write a bit more about some of the techy aspects as well as what it means to (a) be wearing hearing aids and (b) be hearing better.

Past the initial shock of “OMG do people really hear sounds this loud?!”, I’m really appreciating how relaxing it is to understand pretty much every word people say to me. Even in “good/easy” situations, I realize how much of my hearing is actually “deducing” — specially on the rare occasions nowadays when I talk to people without ma aids in.

As my brother aptly put it when we compared notes as I was coming out of the audiologist’s, it’s “as if sound were coming to me, rather than having to go and fetch the sound”.

Physically, my hearing aids are really comfy now, and I am generally not aware that I’m wearing them. Like a pair of glasses (or a bra!) — you know they’re there if you think of it, but they’re not drawing your attention to them all the time.

The model I’m trying now (I’ll be moving on to my second trial when I get back from holiday, more about that below) is the Widex Clear220 C2-PA (here’s the Widex product page, but it’s not nicely linkable, you’ll have to click around to see the once I have). It’s a mini-BTE (“behind the ear”) with the receiver in the canal (RIC). I’m still learning the terminology, and I have to say “receiver” sounds like a very illogical word for what is in fact the “loundspeaker”.

There are two microphones on the top of the piece that lies behind the ear. My audiologist told me that in noisy environments, the second one kicks in and the aid then reduces the sound coming from the sides and back to focus mainly on what comes in from the front microphone (theoretically: the person I’m speaking with).

The two hearing aids also communicate wirelessly with each other, and do fancy stuff to help with sound spatialisation (ears do fancy stuff too, but with RIC the hearing aid is sticking sound directly in your ear canal, so it needs to mimic what your ear does to sound before that).

The aids also clip loud sounds so that they don’t go above (a) potentially damaging volume (b) the volume above which sound becomes uncomfortable for me (I think).

2012-05-05-IMG_2910.jpg

If you look at the line around 80-100dB, that’s where my discomfort to sound is. It’s quite common that people with hearing loss also have a low tolerance to noise. That means there is less “bandwidth” for the audiologist to work with.

Oh, and you know one of the things associated with hearing aids? The Larsen effect? You don’t really get that with digital hearing aids, because they’re programmed to detect that kind of sound and remove it.

So, what about the less exciting stuff? Well, I was lucky enough to have a car on loan during the first weeks I had my aids. That gave me a chance to test their reaction to loud singing (!) at different frequencies ;-).

Here’s where it gets interesting: my left hearing aid (in theory the one with slightly less amplification) would clip or chirp at certain frequencies (understand: me singing at the top of my voice as high as I can go — only in the car, people). It’s annoying enough to hear sound that seems to be coming out of a saturated loudspeaker, but when it’s only in one ear, it’s quite maddening.

Other than that, during my first few weeks of test, I had one or two occurrences of chirping. Chirp! You’re walking around in town, and suddenly one of your ears chirp. It happens so fast it leaves you wondering if you dreamed or if it really happened. I’ve actually managed to produce some frequencies (in the car, not reproducible elsewhere ;-)) that reasonably reliably make it chirp, but other than that I’ve had trouble reproducing the problem.

Early on, another problem I had was that I had the impression my left hearing aid wasn’t amplifying some frequencies. The symptom was I felt as if I had a blocked ear, or cotton in my ear — but it was very mild. It felt as if the receiver was maybe not in the right place (but it was, my audiologist checked). So we did a few tests, and during one of those, one of the frequencies we tried sent the aid into a long continuous beep that didn’t stop until we opened the battery casing to turn it off. I had to pull it out of my ear, and my audiologist was able to witness the sound himself (he has a stethoscope with a special attachment that allows him to listen to what is coming out of a hearing aid). Bug, he said! That hearing aid will be going back to the manufacturer at some point…

We never did completely pinpoint what it was that caused this “muffled” sound, but spatial orientation tests showed that I was slightly disoriented towards the left. So we boosted the right ear by 1dB (counterintuitive… but oh well, audiology is an experimental science). I suspect that the “muffled” feeling could in fact be due to the pressure of the tip in my ear (my left canal is smaller than the right) or something like that. Later on, I discovered that the top of the BTE casing was a tiny bit loose, and we changed it. Right now I have to say I feel this “muffled” problem has completely gone away. Either I got used to it, or something we did made it go… Don’t know.

A couple of weeks back I got an extra 2dB (I started at -8dB, and my audiologist usually starts people at -4dB). It was loud, but bearable. However, the clipping got worse, and worse than that, I found myself having trouble understanding people in situations where it seemed to me I should not be having so much trouble. Restaurants, hallways, noisy places. Back in the office, we actually tested this: word recognition in noisy environments. And the verdict seems to confirm my experience: I understand more words with less amplification. One more reason to try another hearing aid before making any final decision.

I walked out of the office with an extra toy: the M-DEX. The M-DEX does a bunch of things:

  • it connects to your phone by bluetooth and allows your hearing aids to function like a bluetooth headset, streaming sound directly into your aids
  • it’s a remote for the hearing aids (sound up, down, left, right, zoom, mute, music/voice programmes).

M-DEX

As far as I’m concerned, the phone bit (what makes it so expensive) is a complete fail. Pairing with the phone is not a problem, and I manage to get sound into my hearing aids, but the sound quality is much much worse than if I simply put the phone to my ear or stick in my earbuds. This reminds me to mention that I can actually fit my earbuds in my earn “over” the hearing aids. They’re a bit loose and fall out easier, and the sound doesn’t really get amplified by the hearing aid, but it works. For the moment my preferred option is still “earbuds and no hearing-aid” for the phone.

I tried with music rather than phone, and I have the same problem: a huge amount of static background noise, and volume so low that even at maximum setting I have trouble recognizing the song that is playing.

The M-DEX comes with a jack cable, so I tried connecting my phone to it with the cable rather than bluetooth. There is much less static, the sound is much better, but it’s still not really loud enough or clear enough to be an interesting alternative to simply wearing the earbuds, even over the hearing aids.

I have to say I’m pretty disappointed about this bit: I use the phone quite regularly, and listen to a lot of music and podcasts. I can’t believe there isn’t a simple “equalizer” software or application for my phone which I could feed my audiogram to and which would then amplify the frequencies I need. Clearly it wouldn’t be as good as a proper hearing aid, but I’m sure it would help a bit. If you know more about why this isn’t done, I’m all ears (!).

One thing I’m really happy with, though, is the remote function of the M-DEX. Given the problems described above in noisy places, it really helps to be able to bring amplification down a notch (both for troubleshooting and better hearing). I’ve toyed about with the zoom function a bit (selectively amplify sound from behind, left, right, in front) but for the moment I haven’t found a real use for it. Same for selectively amplifying left/right ear.

I absolutely love the “mute” button. Even though I’m trying to wear my aids as much as possible to train my brain to adapt to my new sound environment, it’s quite a relief to be able to just switch them off when it gets too noisy, or when I want to concentrate on something (reading on the train, working in the office), without having to physically remove the hearing aids.

One other annoying thing about the M-DEX (this is a comment I saw somewhere, can’t remember where) is this idea that the M-DEX is going to be the device you interact with rather than your phone. You can dial from it, pick up calls, hang up. Well, OK, maybe this makes sense for technology-confused people, but as far as I’m concerned I’d rather have, as the author of that same comment suggested, an app on my iPhone to control my M-DEX. Leave it to phone manufacturers (or Apple) to make phones.

Leaving aside the tech, one of the effects of wearing hearing aids is that I hear my tinnitus more. Luckily, it’s not bothersome: “white noise” type, not too loud, and not an annoying sound to me. It’s a normal phenomenon: while wearing hearing aids, I’m training my brain to tune out other ambient sounds which are louder than I’m used to, and as everything is louder, my brain doesn’t spend the whole day tuning out my tinnitus so I can hear stuff. It’s relaxing, but it means I’m “out of practice” tuning out the tinnitus, so I hear it more when I remove the hearing aids. No biggie, but I thought I’d mention it, because it’s an interesting phenomenon.

And as far as sharing online goes, I stumbled upon the Hearing Aid Forums — a lively online community of hearing aid users and professionals.

So, where am I, overall? I’m now pretty much “habituated” to hearing better (still -6dB from my “ideal” settings), and if you give me the choice between giving back my hearing aids and keeping them, with the glitches, I am definitely keeping them. But maybe the next trial will give me something even better!

Post haineux de 3h du mat' sponsorisé par Balelec [fr]

[en] Balelec is keeping me awake. At 3am. You do not want to deal with me when I sleep-deprived.

Non mais j’en peux plus là. Les gentils étudiants de Balelec, ils exagèrent, là. Moi, du coup, je dors pas à 3h du mat, et je deviens vraiment vraiment grinche. Ça me réussit pas qu’on m’empêche de dormir à coups de basse que j’entends jusque dans ma chambre à coucher. C’est pas cool, les gars. Et je suis pas la seule, visiblement.

[View the story “Balelec, trop de boucan” on Storify]

Balelec, trop de boucan

Bientôt 3h du matin. J’aimerais dormir. Je peux pas parce que c’est super silencieux ici sauf pour le BOUM BOUM BOUM BOUM BOUM de Balelec qui transperce murs, stores, et vitres triple vitrage pour venir secouer mes tympans. Sans appareils auditifs, je précise. Bref, j’ai la haine, là.

Storified by Stephanie Booth · Sat, May 12 2012 14:20:44

Petite note préliminaire: j’ai commencé ce Storify à 3h du mat’ et complété ensuite plus ou moins au fur et à mesure. C’est un peu brut de décoffrage et long, je voulais surtout collecter les tweets et autres statuts pour les avoir sous la main comme “exemples” (j’enseigne un peu ce genre de truc). 

Si quelqu’un se sent l’âme (je peux pas là, départ en vacances imminent), il y aurait de quoi faire une version plus concise et digeste. Storify vous permet de charger une Story dans le panneau de droite (“stephtara/balelec-trop-de-boucan”) pour pouvoir récupérer ce qui la compose et en faire votre version.

Visiblement je ne suis pas la seule à trouver que c’est un tantinet exagéré!

Vous serez ravi d’apprendre que depuis chez moi j’entends le balelec –*Chris.Déb
Saloperie de balelec !!!Juan Millan
Ça fait depuis 21h ce soir que j’attends qu’un de mes voisins arrête avec ses infra-basses qui me donnent envie de #vomirYannick Rochat
À 22h déception, ça ne s’arrête pas, mais ça ne va sûrement pas tarder…Yannick Rochat
23h ça reprend en pire… Je décide de sortir trouver l’impétueux voisin et lui expliquer ce qu’est le bon goût.Yannick Rochat
Et c’est en regardant les couleurs bizarres dans le ciel que je comprends que c’est la faute à cette horreur de .Yannick Rochat
Je suis, À PULLY (~14km, séparé par Lausanne), exactement dans l’alignement pour me taper leurs daubes de têtes d’affiche.Yannick Rochat
Du coup, je viens aussi de comprendre que ça ne s’arrêterait qu’au petit matin. Crève, #balelecYannick Rochat
J’allais oublier, j’ai même soupçonné les ados chez le voisin d’avoir monté un local de répèt dans leur cave. #désespéré #infrabasseYannick Rochat
Et j’ai aussi failli appeler la police. Heureusement que je me suis rendu compte avant…Yannick Rochat
seriously, calm down there,chaps. Someone is trying to sleep here.)))Baka Gaijin
@boblafoudre c’est calme chez moi. #pointBalelec @ericbutticazChrystel Domenjoz
Baléléc ou je sais pas quoi de M**** si vous voulais faire des soirée de ouf vers chez moi au moins mettez des bonne zik c’est quoi sa!Oswa Salvatore
Donc j’entend balelec jusqu’a chez moi OKNur Sarikaya
Rhaaa balelec tu me saoule grave la!!!!������������������fernandez jessica
question: qu’est-ce qui fait boum-boum et que j’entends depuis chez moi à 2h du mat? ça semble venir de loin (que des basses)Stephanie Booth
non mais y’a un concert à Malley ou quelque chose? et qui dure jusqu’à 2h du mat? (et oui j’entends ça même sans mes appareils)Stephanie Booth
précision: j’entends les basses SANS les appareils AVEC le store fermé et le TRIPLE vitrage des nouvelles fenêtres #WTF #tapagenocturneStephanie Booth
@stephtara c’est , je l’entends depuis l’avenue de FranceArnaud Lagger
@inpactis rah putain mais que fait la police (non franchement, je veux pas faire la rabat-joie, mais c’est 2h du mat là) #balelecStephanie Booth
Au niveau de la musique du Balelec qui résonne jusqu’à Villars-Ste-Croix ça se passe comment..???? mais ça va ou quoi ? ils sont à Ecublens et on l’impression qu’ils sont dans le jardin… !Christophe Fawer
#commentBienVieillir RT @boblafoudre Du coup, je viens aussi de comprendre que ça ne s’arrêterait qu’au petit matin. Crève, #balelecPage
@inpactis ça dure jusqu’à quelle heure ? #vaisjedormircettenuitStephanie Booth
@boblafoudre si quelqu’un a une voiture à dispo j’ai un chalet à la montagne pour dormir les heures qui restent #marre #dodoStephanie Booth
Chez vous aussi Balelec fait vibrer vos fenêtre ?David Pedrocca
C’est quoi ces putains de haut parleurs de l epfl.. On entend dans tt Lausanne ! Arrêtez la oh !!!! Balek de balelecBrian Baali
Cher , tu veux bien baisser un peu le volume? J’aimerais dormir là. Vraiment. Je vais avoir #lahaine si ça continue.Stephanie Booth
@stephtara yes cette année ils ont mis le paquet côté sono. On dirait que balelec est à 300 m de chez moi…Arnaud Lagger
Merci à Pour le boum boum. Toute la ville en profite. Même fenêtres fermées.Patrick Galley
#boum #boum #boum #balelecArnaud Lagger
Au niveau d’entendre le son de balelec depuis chez moi(j’habite Prilly nord) Sa se passe comment. ?!Luca Xtm Lezzi
bon ben en désespoir de cause je suis allée leur demander de baisser un peu le son sur facebook http://on.fb.me/KP6xss #espoir #dodoStephanie Booth
Balelec dans ma chambre a coucher a 3h du matStephanie Booth
C’est pas les voisins, c’est Balelec, Je sens qu’on va en entendre parler,Alejandro Palma
Non mais que fait la police?
Aaaaaahhh c’est donc Balelec tout ce bruit. Quelle bande de taquins ces étudiants.Alejandro Palma
Merci Balelec de me berser au son de la house!!! A 5km c est comme si j y étais…Thierry Pasche
@boblafoudre ici aussi fort à valency à 2h30. et pourtant, j’ai um bon sommeil. un rhythme house omniprésent tu peux rien faire #balelecMatthias Bürcher
@GrandjeanMartin @boblafoudre c’est partout, aussi à Lausanne Valency. #balelecMatthias Bürcher
RT @otneherdelat: seriously, calm down there,chaps. Someone is trying to sleep here.)))Matthias Bürcher
RT @pgalley22: Merci à Pour le boum boum. Toute la ville en profite. Même fenêtres fermées.Matthias Bürcher
Post haineux de 3h du mat’ sponsorisé par | Climb to the Stars http://bit.ly/JriWz8Stephanie Booth
@Balelec vraiment vous exagérez avec la sono #jeveuxdormir http://bit.ly/JrgDMjStephanie Booth
bon, @balelec sont sur twitter à part ça /c @inpactis @boblafoudre @Alej_Pal #bruitStephanie Booth
oh purée. ça s’est arrêté? c’est fini? sérieux? (ou bien ça va reprendre? #vitedormir)Stephanie Booth
@buercher je rêve ou bien ça s’est calmé là? #tapagenocturneStephanie Booth
Et tout ça pour…?!
Bon ba voilà, je reviens de Balelec. C’est sûrement un événement surcoté… Trop de monde, artistes moyens, organisation pas top…Léo Richard
pire édition en 5ans! Quand on arrive pas à gérer l’accès d’autant de monde, ben on voit moins grand! @balelec 2012Arnaud Walter
Sur ce, je vais tenter de dormir, ça semble terminé!Stephanie Booth
Après quelques heures de sommeil…
Impressionné de "voir" autant de personnes déjà debout un samedi matin! #alorslagrassemat?Thierry Weber
Non, combinaison de cette saleté de Balelec cette nuit + des chats => mauvaise nuit => pas de grasse mat alors que j’en avais bien besoin :-(Stephanie Booth
Oui j’ai vu passer tes tweets. Incroyable cette histoire de sono surpuissante ou alors les vents on bien aidé à propager les sonsThierry Weber

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div>Ça s’entendait jusqu’

Tounsi perdu et puis retrouvé [fr]

[en] The story, with the details, of Tounsi going "missing" for a bit over 24 hours. Short version: he wandered a bit out of his comfort "territory" because he followed me yesterday morning when I left, and was taken in "a bit promptly" a few hours later by a well-intentioned lady who had run into the "lost cat". He's sleeping on my bed with his mouth open right now.

Il y a 24 heures de cela, j’étais en train d’arpenter le quartier à la recherche de Tounsi. Le coeur dans les chaussettes et l’estomac dans la gorge, pour être honnête.

Tounsi is back.jpg

Hier matin, il m’a suivie alors que je quittais la maison pour aller travailler. Ce n’est pas la première fois. C’est un peu un problème: Tounsi est un chat qui suit les gens, et moi en particulier. Un peu pot-de-colle ou petit chien. L’avantage, c’est qu’il accourt dès que je l’appelle. Le désavantage, c’est que je me demande parfois jusqu’où il va me suivre.

Comme ce soir il y a quelques semaines quand j’ai dû courir pour le semer devant mon immeuble en partant à ma répétition de chant, au retour de laquelle je l’ai trouvé en haut de mon chemin, presque sur la Vallombreuse… Sueur froide, pour le coup.

J’ai donc décidé de partir de chez moi à travers le quartier résidentiel derrière mon immeuble, histoire qu’il ne se retrouve pas direct sur la grande route s’il me suit un peu trop loin. Je le sème, pas très loin de l’arrière de mon immeuble, le nez dans le feuillage du bord du chemin, et je pars l’esprit tranquille: même si Tounsi ne semble pas avoir l’orientation aussi sûre que Safran (je suis gentille), il retrouvera sans trop de souci le bon côté de l’immeuble.

Une journée de travail un peu “course” plus tard, Safran m’attend devant l’immeuble, mais Tounsi est introuvable. Tours de quartier, appels de plus en plus forts, rien à faire. Corinne, que je revois pour la première fois après son départ nomade pour l’Asie il y a deux ans, suit tout en direct, m’accompagne dans mes recherches, et m’offre un précieux soutien moral.

Vers minuit, après plusieurs kilomètres à pied, je pose les plaques pour la nuit et dors d’un sommeil agité jusqu’à 7h du matin. (J’espère que vous appréciez la précision de mon reportage!)

Tounsi n’étant pas là à mon réveil, mon inquiétude monte d’un cran. Re-tour du quartier, je pousse même jusqu’à Mont-Goulin où j’ai pris le bus la veille. Rien. Annonce sur animal-perdu.ch, première vague d’affiches dans les entrées des immeubles aux abords immédiats du mien (et du mien bien sûr!), annonce à la SVPA, téléphone aux abattoirs (oui, c’est là qu’il faut appeler… ouf, rien), e-mail à SOS chats (la puce électronique de Tounsi est à son nom, s’il est trouvé c’est eux qui seront alertés et non pas moi), coup de fil à mon vétérinaire et l’autre des environs, autres annonces online, et départ pour une nouvelle expédition de pose d’affiches, en élargissant le périmètre.

Un premier coup de fil après la pose d’affiches initiale m’informait qu’on avait vu Tounsi dans la semaine — je rajoute du coup la date sur les nouvelles affiches. Je constate qu’environ une heure après la pose, certains concierges bien consciencieux et probablement peu amis des bêtes ont déjà ôté mon affiche (collée avec du scotch de carrossier facile à enlever et qui ne laisse pas de traces).

Alors qu’on commence à avoir fait le tour du pâté d’immeubles (y compris l’école enfantine), un coup de fil: une dame dit avoir observé hier matin un chat ressemblant à Tounsi depuis son balcon. Il miaulait beaucoup et se roulait par terre devant les garages comme une chatte en chaleur (shhh, ne lui dites pas). Elle l’a ensuite vu entrer dans une entrée d’immeuble d’en face, puis repéré sur le balcon d’une dame qu’elle connaissait.

Espoir! On la rejoint, en entrant dans l’immeuble les voisins nous confirment qu’un chat a bien été recueilli hier, on sonne à la porte. Pas de réponse, mais “miaou, miaou”. Est-ce Tounsi ou pas? Je ne reconnais pas encore sa voix, difficile à dire.

Je suis à la fois excitée et dépitée. On redescend. Il y a un mot dans l’entrée de l’immeuble qui confirme qu’elle a recueilli un chat correspondant au signalement de Tounsi, mais qu’elle ne sera pas de retour avant 19h. Pas de numéro de contact sur l’affiche. Impossible de la joindre!

On patauge un peu dans les options limitées à notre disposition. Dehors, on me dit de regarder le balcon. C’est le balcon du quatrième. Tounsi fait de l’équilibrisme sur le rebord, regarde en bas, miaule miaule. Soulagement et stress en même temps — il peut être un peu pataud, et l’idée de le laisser là jusqu’à 19h maintenant qu’il m’a repérée me fait froid dans le dos.

Il essaie de passer la partition qui sépare son balcon de celui d’à côté, ce qui me donne une idée. On monte chez la voisine, je vais sur son balcon, j’appelle Tounsi, le saisis en contournant la partition pour le prendre dans mes bras (pas très dignement le pauvre, mais au-dessus de 4 étages de vide, on laisse de côté sa dignité).

Tounsi n’aime pas qu’on le porte s’il n’est pas dans un lieu familier. Il se débat, alors je sors de l’appart avec lui un peu comme une voleuse, et on entreprend de rentrer à la maison, à pied. Après avoir tenté dans un premier temps de partir dans la “fausse” direction (une idée fixe datant de la veille, peut-être?) on repart dans la bonne direction. Ce n’est pas très loin, trois immeubles dans une zone assez dense.

Enorme soulagement, mais ce n’est pas fini. Je réponds encore 3-4 fois au téléphone (mes affiches ont du succès!) — y compris à “l’autre” vétérinaire à qui l’on avait annoncé que Tounsi avait été recueilli par cette dame. Il faut ôter les affiches, rappeler la SVPA, enlever les annonces, et prévenir Twitter-Facebook du retour du félin prodigue.

Alors que je suis en train d’ôter mes affiches, je reçois un coup de fil de l’amie de la dame qui avait recueilli Tounsi. Après un peu de confusion (“non il s’agit du même chat, oui je l’ai déjà récupéré, non il n’est plus dans l’appart, je suis passée par le balcon de la voisine, sisi c’est bien mon chat que vous avez recueilli et c’est bon, je l’ai récupéré”) j’en apprends un peu plus.

Elles ont trouvé Tounsi dans le couloir au 4ème en milieu de matinée et l’ont immédiatement pris à l’intérieur, de crainte que ce soit un “chat d’intérieur” qui se serait faufilé hors d’un appartement. Annonces à Prilly-Centre, appelé la police, prévenu leur vétérinaire…

Bonnes réactions une fois qu’elles avaient le chat, et bonnes intentions, mais peut-être conclusion (et action) un peu hâtive: Tounsi traînait autour de leur immeuble depuis à peine 2h (allons, poussons à 4 si jamais c’était plutôt vers midi) qu’il était déjà un “chat trouvé”! Bon, c’est vrai qu’il peut être un peu “collant” (et perpétuellement affamé) s’il est un peu désécurisé…

Il y a fort à parier que s’il avait simplement été laissé en paix (et remis dehors), il aurait fini par retrouver le chemin de la maison, ou alors que je l’aurais trouvé lors de mon tour du quartier, s’il avait préféré rester faire le chat désespéré et perdu à 150m de chez lui toute la journée. Ça me rappelle un peu le chat de 2007

J’en connais un qui ne va pas sortir de sitôt sans son collier! (Oui, il l’avait perdu la veille.)

Tounsi all set to go out

A Week With My Superpower [en]

[fr] Une semaine avec mes super-pouvoirs qui me permettent d'entendre aussi bien qu'un chat 🙂

Last Friday, I stepped into a small shop in the mall near the motorway exit. I walked out with two magic amulets. The moment I started wearing them, I started hearing sounds like I had never heard them before.

I have a superpower: I can listen in on conversations I am not taking part in; I can hear the noise the cat litter makes as it trickles back into the box when I scoop things out; I hear my cat lapping water in the next room, and people moving in the other flats; birds sing so loud and clear they seem to be perched on my shoulder; the rustle of a paper bag or my clothes fills the whole room; I have the ears of a dog.

Best of all, instead of having to reach out to grasp the sounds of speech when I’m talking with somebody, the sound comes to me, crystal clear — right into my ears. I am no longer trying to catch others’ words. They find me, even when I’m not expecting to be talked to, even when I’m not looking at the one producing the words.

OK, I lied a bit — the amulets are not magical, they’re technological. They look like this:

Hearing aid.

(I am thinking of swapping metal grey for pink, though — that part isn’t visible, of course, but I like the idea.)

Those of you who know me well enough know that I do not hear well. I never had. My hearing is particularly deficient in the frequencies used by speech. (I’ll post my audiogram here later, it’s at eclau and I don’t want to walk down the whole two floors to get it ;-)) After a disastrous attempt at getting me hearing aids when I was fourteen (I wore them all of two days) I’ve finally decided to give it another go — and so far, I’m delighted.

I’m actually starting to realize how deaf I am. Or how badly I hear. (Pick your expression of choice.) The audiologist initially programmed the hearing aids to their optimal setting, based on my audiogram. I was shocked. When he spoke to me just after the setting process, I instinctively looked for the microphone he was speaking into. He wasn’t speaking into a microphone.

Imagine you arrive early at the stage, and the band playing the gig is rehearsing with being plugged in. And suddenly somebody plugs in the mikes and the amps. That’s what it felt like. “You have got to be kidding,” I told him. “It’s way too loud.” He told me he was going to run another test to confirm, and as he turned back to the keyboard his pen escaped his hands. You know the sound a pan makes when you drop it on the kitchen floor? Well, that’s pretty much how much noise his pen made.

After running the second test, he confirmed that the settings were right. I was hearing sounds the way somebody with normal hearing hears them. So loud! Way too loud! This is of course a common reaction, and the audiologist always decreases the settings to something more tolerable so the new wearer of hearing aids can get used to them. Usually, he decreases them by 4dB — in my case, by 8dB. And he also reduced amplification of weak sounds to cut out as much background noise as possible.

Given my strong initial reaction to the “optimal” setting and the traumatic teenage failure behind me, we weren’t taking any chances.

One thing I was really worried about was the physical discomfort of having something in my ear. My memory of my first attempt at wearing hearing aids is that they were hugely uncomfortable (of course technology has evolved in 25 years, but still!). I also know I cannot stand the completely occlusive inside-the-ear earbuds — I bought a pair once, listened to music 30 minutes with it, and had to bring it back. It hurt too much.

My audiologist recommended dabbing the part that goes inside the ear with sweet almond oil. It works wonders. The first day I had to remove my hearing aids a couple of times because my ears were tickling. After 2-3 days, no more, though I was happy to remove them at the end of the day. Now, I almost forget about them. I’m actually almost worried that at some point I’ll stop noticing them so much I’ll hop into the bath or the shower without removing them… oopsie.

Even with a setting 8dB below what I should have, it makes a stunning difference to me when I’m talking with people. I actually understand every word. I don’t need to guess anymore. I might even stop watching movies with subtitles, who knows! I keep hearing sounds that I don’t know how to identify yet, so I’ll often end up looking all around me in the bus or street to try to figure out what it is I’m hearing. A friend commented that what I’m going through is probably a bit similar to what happens to babies when they realize that sound is stuff they’re hearing. It’s not all pleasant, of course (loud drunk teenagers in public transport are even louder), but overall I am already at a point where I do not want to not wear them. I’m hooked.

What amazes me, though, is to think that this is still way below how you (well, most of you reading this) hear. I’d love to be able to edit a recording based on my audiogram to make it sound to “normal hearing people” the way it would sound to me. And I’m looking forward to getting sufficiently used to my current settings that we can turn the volume up even a bit more!

My Pallet Garden [en]

[fr] Ce que j'ai fait aujourd'hui.

This is what I did today, pretty much.

My pallet garden, completed.jpg

Inspiration: How to Turn a Pallet Into a Garden

Having Cats [en]

[fr] Avoir des chats, c'est aussi: des interactions sociales avec voisinage, amis, et connaissances; des pauses jeu, câlins, sorties; un encouragement à prendre soin de moi, en prenant soin d'eux; des balades dans le voisinage, pour les accompagner ou les trouver; un espace coworking muni de chats!

You might remember, when I was grieving Bagha, that I tried to sort through what pain was associated with not having a cat anymore, and what was of the loss of one particular cat I had loved, Bagha.

With my new cats, I am remembering there is a bunch of nice things about having cats (aside from them making your travels slightly more complicated) — whoever they are.

  • They help me connect to people socially. There are people in the neighbourhood I had pretty much not spoken to since Bagha’s death, and that I have spoken to again during these last weeks, because pretty much all we can easily socially connect on is cats. I find myself wanting to invite people over more (“come and see the cats” is a great pretext and easier than “I’d enjoy spending time with you” — I probably need to work on that, though ;-))
  • They encourage me to take downtime. Whether it’s watching them in the garden, playing with them, or petting sessions, I’ve been “stopping” more.
  • I have to care for them on a daily basis, and I’ve found that in a strange way, taking care of something/someone else encourages me to take care of myself too.
  • I walk around my neighbourhood, either to accompany them, or to look for them 🙂
  • I again manage a coworking space featuring kitty company, entertainment, and relaxation!

Er... Can you get down, please?

Three Weeks With My New Cats, Tounsi and Safran [en]

[fr] Photos et nouvelles de mes nouveaux chats, Tounsi et Safran. Ils sortent depuis vendredi, allez voir les photos!

Gosh, three weeks already. I thought I was going to update you more regularly (well, if you’re subscribed to me on Facebook, you will have got many photographic updates — see also on Flickr) but time just flew by.

Where to start? Well, first, they have names. They had shelter names when I adopted them, of course: El Tunis and Brando. Now they have their real names: Tounsi and Safran.

Tounsi all set to go out Safran all set to go out

Here they are at eclau, ready to go outside. They don’t normally wear collars, but I got some elastic ones that are easy to slip on and off and made some name tags for them. They’ll wear them when they go out while they get acquainted with their new territory and the humans which inhabit it. This was after their first day out, back home (they have their “spots” on the couch:

Copycats

They have pretty different characters.

Tounsi is not that interested in humans to begin with, but he loves being petted and cuddled. He’s the dominant one of the two, independant, and a hunter. I have banned catnip mice from the flat (this video will show you why). He has round eyes, his lips are always slightly parted (and that’s when he doesn’t forget to close his mouth!), and his elbows stick out a bit — added to the fact he is very alert and tends to trot around to whatever interesting is going on, it gives him a bit of a comical look. He’s very soft, and always very hungry (he’s lost a bit of his paunch since I have him, but it’s been a struggle for me to figure out how to feed them).

Safran is very very cute. He looks like a cuddly soft toy. He’s a flirt: he always comes up to new humans, and if you crouch down, he’ll put his front paws on your knee or even on your shoulder and give you kitty-kisses in the ear (or lick it!). Very cute. But beware! He’s in fact quite shy, and his tolerance for petting is quickly reached. He lets you know that with teeth and claws (more often the former). That means that it’s fine to pet and cuddle him (carefully!) when he comes to you, but he’s better left alone if he’s napping in a corner. Same goes with carrying: when in the mood, he’ll try and climb on your shoulders and settle there, but if you pick him up to carry him you’ll be greeted with bites, hisses and growls (depending on the situation). I sense some learned helplessness here: he doesn’t even struggle to jump down (even when he’s free to just hop down!) but hisses and bites.

They are both splendidly litter-trained (not a single accident, fingers crossed!), and have mostly given up on trying to eat my plants and shred my tatamis and yucca with their claws since I got them kitty grass and a proper scratching post (this is only their third day with access to the outside). Look at the equipment:

New Cats 44.jpg

We do everything together

(Litter box in bathtub: less litter all over the bathroom and flat, and I clean my bathtub every day — it’s never been so clean!)

New Cats 223.jpg

The first week with Tounsi and Safran was not that easy. Not their fault, but I had a very hard time naming them, I didn’t love them yet (I’m starting to), and I had a sudden backlash of grief (expected) about Bagha. The fact that Tounsi looks and behaves more like Bagha than I initially thought was particularly painful. I mean, look at these two photos, and tell me if they don’t remind you of somebody:

Tounsi Channeling Bagha

New Cats 95.jpg

Well, the hardest is past, they have been introduced to eclau and are starting to feel comfortable there, and they’ve been going outside (supervised most of the time) since Friday. I’m so happy for them! As for me, I’m starting to settle down and get used to having them around. I’m even starting to like them!

Head over to the rest of the photos.

Hello, Cats! [en]

[fr] J'ai des nouveaux chats 🙂

When I came back from India a month ago, I launched the “cat adoption” project. A few leads that fizzled out and three shelter visits later, here we are!

New Cats 34.jpg

Who, me?

I have teh cutes

There will be many more photographs, backstories, and musings on how I’m adjusting to having new cats in my life.

Short version? They’re both around 2 years old, come from SOS Chats in Geneva, are shelter buddies, and get along really well. They’ve adapted super fast to their new surroundings — less than three hours after arrival, I had both of them on my lap at the same time. They don’t have proper names yet, even though they had shelter names and we’re trying on some new ones right now.

We’re getting to know one another!

Cat Adoption: c'est parti! [fr]

[en] I'm looking to adopt two cats, kittens or adults. Should be near Lausanne so I can meet them first, get along well, go outdoors and be sociable (they will be hanging out at eclau during the day-time, where there are people).

Me voici donc rentrée d’Inde. Mission de mon retour: trouver deux chats à adopter. Oui, deux. Bien avant la mort de Bagha, j’avais décidé que “la prochaine fois” je prendrais deux chats. Je trouve ça sympa, deux chats.

Du vivant de Bagha, vu son âge et son caractère, ce n’était pas vraiment envisageable de prendre un deuxième chat.

Je suis donc à la recherche de deux chats. Chatons, adultes, j’avoue que cela m’importe relativement peu. Qu’est-ce qui est important?

  • qu’ils s’entendent bien (donc typiquement je cherche des situations genre “doivent impérativement être adoptés ensemble”)
  • qu’ils sortent
  • qu’ils soient bien socialisés et peu craintifs: ils passeront du temps à l’eclau où il y a du monde, même si c’est assez calme (je vis dans le même immeuble)
  • que je puisse faire connaissance des félins en question avant de me décider, donc pas trop loin de Lausanne!

Ils seront bien entendu soignés aux petits oignons: pas gâtés (je suis plutôt stricte côté friandises etc) mais câlinés, soignés, bonne nourriture (véto-approved) et excellent vétérinaire. Et maîtresse un peu hypocondriaque, ce qui a un avantage: aucun risque je laisse des situations se détériorer avant d’aller consulter.

Ce n’est pas si facile, comme démarche. C’est en fait la première fois que je me mets en quête d’un chat à adopter. Mon premier chat, Flam, était le chaton unique de la portée suivante chez mes voisins, une fois que j’avais reçu le feu vert parental pour avoir un chat. Le deuxième, Bagha, que vous connaissez bien, a fait le trajet Inde-Suisse suite à un concours de circonstances impliquant un déménagement en Angleterre et de longs mois passés à vivre avec sa première famille. Tous deux sort morts de leur belle mort, Flam à 16 ans, Bagha à 14.

Toute mamy à chats que je suis, je n’ai donc pas eu beaucoup de chats.

J’ai décidé que je parlerais de ma recherche autour de moi, et que je ferais également un saut à Sainte-Catherine d’ici une semaine ou deux si rien ne se présentait. (La semaine prochaine c’est Lift, et deux semaines plus tard le module 4 de la formation SAWI, après ça se dégage.)

Ce matin, j’ai fait un saut sur Anibis et j’ai assez vite décidé de faire une croix sur les petites annonces. Lire les annonces, ça me déchire entre “je veux adopter tous les chats qui me passent sous le nez” et “j’ai peur de faire un erreur lors de mon choix”. Impossible de choisir quoi que ce soit. Typique.

Donc, soit il y a dans mon réseau des chats ou chatons à donner dans les semaines à venir, soit je vais au refuge.

Je sais qu’une des racines de ma crainte d’erreur a à voir avec le fait que j’ai probablement encore à accepter que je ne trouverai pas un autre Bagha. Adopter un autre chat (même deux), ce ne sera pas retrouver Bagha. Je suis encore triste. C’est normal, en fait: être prête à reprendre un ou plusieurs compagnons félins, c’est une étape du deuil.

Back From India [en]

[fr] Je suis rentrée d'Inde!

I’m not good at transitions, at changes of life rhythm.

Switzerland to India and back is a big transition, and not because of the temperature gap. Everyone knows there is a huge difference in culture and lifestyle between these two places of mine.

But there might be an added twist. I don’t know if it’s personal to me, or if it’s something others experience while navigating between India and “The West”. When I’m in Switzerland, my life in India seems very very far away. It feels unreal, almost fictional, or like it’s somebody else who is there when I’m there, not really me.

Pune Tulsi Baug 2012 11.jpg

What about when I am in India? India feels very normal. Switzerland is very far away, and my life “at home” also fades away into some degree un “unrealness”, but with a different quality. Put side-by-side 35 years in Switzerland and 1 year in India, I guess it explains it.

(Come to think of it, my time in India is adding up: 11 months + 6 weeks + 5 weeks + 5 weeks + 2 weeks + 6 weeks… we’re approaching a year and a half end-to-end.)

Put simply, I feel there is a rift between me-in-India and me-in-Switzerland. I’m not exactly sure what it means or how to deal with it. I’m almost sure, though, that it does have something to do with the very strong feelings I have about India and Indian culture when I’m not there. It doesn’t mean I’d like to go and live there for good, or even for an extended period. But sometimes I feel a bit like I’m caught up in a one-way love story with the place.

Anyway, here I am in the plane, typing this during the hour-long layover in Frankfurt (thankfully they don’t make us get off the plane). I did not plan my time in India exceedingly well (more about that in a bit), but I did plan my return well: I have 5 full days with no serious work commitments so that I can “land” in peace, and then I ease back into my work life by attending the Lift Conference. Most of my work stuff is currently under control, either because I dealt with it before I left, or because I stayed on top while I was traveling (blogs like the Ebookers Travel Blog and the Paper.li still need an editor even when I’m in India, right?). So, I’m happy with myself about that bit.

What I’m less happy about is how I approached my time in India — but thankfully, the stress I got myself in led to an important realization. You see, my now-annual India retreat is my big chunk of downtime for the year. So I spend all year thinking “oh, when I’m in India, I’ll do… all sorts of things”. Examples of things I planned to do in India:

  • read a huge amount of books
  • write a lot (fiction and for the blog… you can see how well that turned out ;-))
  • put all my photos online, and catch up with the backlog
  • work on my Hindi
  • see a long list of people
  • eat a long list of things
  • learn many more Indian recipes from Nisha
  • do a long list of India-specific things.

What happened with that is that when I arrived in Pune, I started feeling very stressed. There was actually humanly not enough time for me to do everything I had unrealistically put in the “when I’m in India…” box. I understood this during the return journey from Mahabaleshwar, so early enough in my trip, thankfully. I started writing down the list of everything I expected myself to do, and quickly understood why I was feeling so stressed. As I couldn’t extend my time in India (specifically Pune!) I started chopping things off the list. It helped a lot. For my second week in Pune, at the end of my stay, I actually decided to plan my time a little (as much as India allowed) and everything went much better. I’ve learned for next year: diving in without any structure is not a good idea when there are things I actually want to do!

Sometime during the last weeks, I read this article on the absence of work-life balance: there are always piles of things we “wish we had time for” but in practice, even when we do have time for them, we don’t do them. We’re fooling ourselves. I need to think more about this, because I spend a lot of time trying to make more space for things I think I want to do, and failing quite a bit.

So, I didn’t read much this year. I read American Gods. That’s pretty much it. And as you can see, I didn’t write any blog posts (well, barely). However, I did quite a good job on the photos, including catching up with some of last year’s. I saw almost all the people I wanted to see, bought enough stuff to bring back to get me into trouble at the airport (Kuwait Airways: 7kg hand luggage and 20kg in the hold… even though they didn’t enforce the 7kg hand luggage limit on the way to India — I hate it when airlines are not consistent).

I think I had a really nice time. I had some adventures, which I tweeted about when they happened. Come to think of it, maybe this is one of the reasons I blogged less? I had an Indian SIM card with data, which meant that I pretty much stayed connected on Facebook and Twitter and Path. Aside from that, I have to say that having a local phone number and data connection made my life a thousand times easier (think: suspicious-looking rickshaw-driver and Google Maps, for example).

I might or might not write about these in more detail at some point, but just to give you an idea:

  • a day trip to Mahabaleshwar with a bunch of scientists
  • frogs in the kitchen in Kerala
  • swimming in the Arabian sea, both in my clothes (Kerala) and in my swimsuit (Goa)
  • many days of rice and sambar and fish/chicken curry (very nice but a little repetitive for me!)
  • trying to teach a bunch of Hindi-speaking Delhi guys a French song
  • huge piles of seafood
  • being climbed all over by a two-year-old in the train (I was not in the mood)
  • drinking 80-rupee masala chay (in a teapot, probably justifies the price)
  • a whole afternoon/evening of listening to students in Western classical music perform (very nice and completely unexpected!)
  • car encounter with a roadside tree-stump (nobody hurt but the car)
  • a very long day trip to a waterfall which turned out to be dry (food not included
  • unexpectedly really liking Goa (large quantities of seafood helped, so did the Portuguese architecture)
  • things turning out all right when I didn’t expect them to
  • experimenting the 2×2 sleeper bus: one berth, 1m80 by 1m20, me, and some unknown Indian guy (more horrified than me, probably)
  • no major stomach issues! yay!

Of course, aside from the adventures, there was also things like eating lovely food, discovering new Hindi music, spending time with nice people (old friends and new acquaintances), taking lots of photos, relaxing, enjoying the warmth (specially when Siberia decided to move to Lausanne). I think I had a really nice time and am coming back relaxed and refreshed (once I’ve got over the jet lag and lack of sleep from travel).