Category: Personal

Anything and everything about me and my life. You’ll have to hunt a lot for gossip-worthy tidbits, though.

Paris… [en]

…Il faudra repasser.

Pour apprivoiser une ville, j’aime flâner dans ses rues, me poser dans ses cafés, manger dans ses bistrots et baver devant les vitrines de ses magasins. Activités qui sont loin d’être compatibles avec mon état actuel.

Enfer et frustration, comme dirait quelqu’un de ma connaissance.

Light in my Life [en]

Those of you who know me well won’t believe it. Those of you who have visited my flat, even less.

I have actually replaced the bulb in the kitchen (yeah, I seem to have a hard time doing these little things). But more important, I have replaced the one in the bathroom.

That actually is a feat, because during the last year, I tried to unscrew the lamp from the wall at least four times – with various assistance. This time I just decided to give it a go (never mind if it breaks, it’s not working anyway)… and it worked!

So, be informed and rejoice: a candle is no longer necessary.

Sing [en]

I realised last night that what I enjoy the most when I go dancing is singing to the music at the top of my lungs.

That’s probably why I like all those ’80s songs I know by heart, and stop moving pretty fast with that modern (!) “boom-boom” stuff.

Prague [en]

J’ai ramené de Prague trois rouleaux de film et un rhume, mais aussi d’autres choses plus intérieures et invisibles au premier abord.

  • Ma vie en Inde a chamboulé mon cadre de référence. Prague ne m’a pas paru délabrée. L’hôtel m’a semblé luxueux. Les prix m’ont paru chers.
  • Dans un restaurant, il reste une table à  trois places. Nous sommes quatre. Je commence poliment à  demander au couple qui occupe une table à  quatre places si cela ne les dérange pas de changer de table afin que l’on puisse manger là , quand la serveuse se met à  me parler en Tchèque, l’air furieuse, avant de repartir derrière son bar, en me jetant des regards noirs.
    En Tchéquie, il est visiblement d’un impolitesse inexcusable de demander à  d’autres clients de changer de table. Magnifique expérience de cultural clash, en pleine figure s’il-vous-plaît. Vous êtes prévenus.
  • Les élèves ont tous des téléphones mobiles, qu’ils utilisent durant tout le séjour. Les parents ont de l’argent – je doute que ce soient les “chers petits” qui paient les communications, au prix où est le roaming international.
  • Pour une raison étrange, j’ai trouvé le marché très déprimant. Il y avait quelque chose de très triste à  voir ces gens acheter leurs légumes. Ne me demandez pas quoi, je m’en étonne encore.
  • L’architecture communiste n’est pas exactement conforme à  nos standards esthétiques…

Double Life [en]

I came back home a bit late this evening. Bagha was not waiting for me in front of the building, as he often does, so I toured the neighbourhood to find him.

It gave me a chance to talk to a couple who live in the block behind mine, and who saw me pick Bagha up from their ground-floor balcony, where they were having a late supper.

He had been coming to their house very regularly during the last weeks (months?), sleeping there during the day, and eating too. They bought canned food (oh my God!) and fish to feed him. They actually gave him a name, thinking he was a stray.

I was wondering why Bagha’s appetite seemed to have diminished since I left for India.

I knew very well that the unfaithful feline found his way into other people’s flats. I also suspected that he probably got more to eat in his day than what I fed him (he did spend his youth stealing from kitchens in India, so he has the practice). I knew he could charm people. But I never suspected he had actually been adopted.

I think I’m really going to put some fancy collar around his neck with a notice in a bottle: “Hello, my name is Bagha. My mistress lives in the neighbourhood and feeds me very well. Please do not give me anything to eat, even if I know how to be quite persuasive!”

View [en]

During my absence, the building opposite my balcony was pulled down. I now have a nice view on the mountains from my living-room (I can see them now as I type). Maybe I should complain when they try to build something there, and keep my new view?

Non-dit [en]

Je sais que nous n’en parlerons pas. Ce serait briser cette magie que l’on a tant de mal à  faire naître, étouffer le futur et rendre mensonge le passé. On a tant dit que la parole est d’argent mais le silence d’or que l’on oublie de se taire. Il y a des choses qui sont mieux laissées souterraines, le temps qu’elle éclosent.

Unrest [en]

I know it is easy to worry when someone you know is far away. I won’t say anything about the situation, apart that there is too much to say, and that I have the feeling it has all been said.

I just wanted to assure you that I am safe, that there is no unrest in the country, and that I will be travelling back to Pune until the middle of next week – so don’t you worry if I’m not answering emails.

Lost Life [en]

IUCAA, 18 August 01, 0:30 pm

For the first time in my life, I find myself missing the life I had at some point. I have often felt unsatisfied by the present, but as far as I can remember I have always coped by looking ahead into the unforseeable future: “things will be better when…”

I really miss the life I had with Somak and Aleika in IUCAA. I miss it in the sense that I would really like to be able to go back to that time. I don’t have the feeling that I’m particularly unsatisfied with my present, though – I just wish I could still be living in the cosy little family we had.

Visiting them in Birmingham is a way of finding a bit of this life again, but much too briefly. Coming here is a way of looking straight into what hurts – a chance to realise where exactly the hurt is, maybe, and hopefully to help heal it.