Today is Tomorrow [en]

A friendly colleague I share some geeky interests with told me today I was courageous to announce my blogging intentions yesterday. I told him “not that much”, because if I didn’t stick to my declaration of intent, it’s not something I’d feel terribly bad about. Writing that quick post yesterday made me feel a bit better, and announcing I would write today increased the probability I’d actually do it today. Making clear plans and public accountability aren’t binding, but they can help tip the scales.

So, I set my timer and I didn’t dive into my open tabs before starting to write. I’m less all over the place today, but it doesn’t mean any of the underlying issues are dealt with. Oscar is still dying. I’m still unhappy about having to set aside so much of what I’d like to do. The one-year mark of my accident is behind me, and though I’m still confident about making a full recovery, that confidence is fragile and easily shaken, particularly when there are setbacks. I am starting to be afraid of “crashing” again like I did at Christmas.

I’ve lost other cats before Oscar, but in my post-accident world, there is no known territory anymore. I don’t know what it will do to me – because my brain is still very much in the process of recovering. I’m working 50% again but have set aside pretty much all my non-work activities and projects, and I’m exhausted. So, I’m on edge emotionally, and not dealing well with the usual/inevitable stuff life in our day and age throws at me, particularly the stuff that has to do with broken systems, bureaucracy, and people being a pain in the neck. I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place: either deal with it or let it go, and both are costly, and I don’t have spoons to spare these days.

On the sunny side, when I’m feeling kind of OK, I have to face the frustration of prioritising rest, when I have a pile of blog post ideas (I even have a couple of proper drafts that need finishing up), want to make progress with the migration of the diabetic cat community to Discourse (and write about it), finish setting up Claude so it’s properly usable for the half-dozen “top of mind” projects I want to work on with it, continue tidying/organising my flat, have a social life, go to judo, singing rehearsals, skiing and hiking, whatever, the stuff I used to do and took for granted before my accident. It sucks.

I have a ton of links to share, but no good system to do it in the way I want. I keep throwing them into the socials, which is better than nothing, but I’d like to collect them here or at least some place I control, and I have a path/plan to do that (thanks Claude) – but it’s going to take time and effort to do.

So here’s a small dump. The timer is going off.

• Current RSS reader (and go read the rest of the stuff this guy has written, I love his brain)
• Some videoblogging of mine (yep, want to write those up as articles too here, another thing I haven’t got around to doing)
• You better learn to understand how to use AI safely (I’m talking about the human aspect)
• Revamped curriculum at IGB (where I’m doing my training in “systémique” — never sure how best to call this in English)
• A podcast episode on happiness, insightful
• A podcast episode on procrastination, insightful and actionable
• Early March, my old talk on structured portable social networks popped up on Facebook. Heavens, I can’t believe we’ve been stuck with these issues for 18 years. So I dug the video out of my hard drive archive and stuck it on YouTube, because all the other places it was are dead and gone, except Facebook, and, well, yeah, Facebook.

That’ll be it for today. Grey’s Anatomy is waiting. I’m going to try and blog a bit more frequently (with timer) just to dump stuff out of my brain. Probability increased, certainty unavailable.

Bonus picture: the puzzle I was very tempted to continue working on tonight instead of writing.