IUCAA, 18 August 01, 0:30 pm
For the first time in my life, I find myself missing the life I had at some point. I have often felt unsatisfied by the present, but as far as I can remember I have always coped by looking ahead into the unforseeable future: “things will be better when…”
I really miss the life I had with Somak and Aleika in IUCAA. I miss it in the sense that I would really like to be able to go back to that time. I don’t have the feeling that I’m particularly unsatisfied with my present, though – I just wish I could still be living in the cosy little family we had.
Visiting them in Birmingham is a way of finding a bit of this life again, but much too briefly. Coming here is a way of looking straight into what hurts – a chance to realise where exactly the hurt is, maybe, and hopefully to help heal it.