Tag: queuing theory

These last weeks I’ve been obsessing over queuing theory. Well, actually, about how queuing theory can help me deal with my hyperactive calendar. Want to read up? link 1, link 2, link 3, link 4. I’ll read them too – when I have time (haha).

Seriously, what I have no understood is that I need to keep at least 20% of “unallocated” time. The queue is in my head and in my to-do list. Get back to such-and-such about having lunch together. Plan this or that activity. Buffer time means flexibility and higher reactivity. Does it mean I will have to do less? Maybe. Or not. Because time is what time is. I’m using it up anyway, whatever I do with it. So: I’ll probably be doing as much, but differently.

Which brings me to the fundamental question of what I want to spend my time doing. What’s important? What gets priority? In this episode of Hidden Brain, there was mention of an exercise in which the subject counted how many times they had done a certain valuable activity, and how many times were left in their lifetime. In this example, it was eating with their parents. Realising there was a finite number of opportunities for this valuable moment helped them prioritise this commitment.

As I was trying to figure out how to do deal with my ever-longer list of interests and activities, I stumbled upon this article (this was before the queuing theory lightbulb) which lead me to a “needs assessment” tool. That was interesting: what are my core needs, and how does the stuff I do fit in fulfilling them? Am I spending a lot of energy on stuff that doesn’t fulfil them? That was good food for thought.

Anyway, I’ve now understood I need to make space in my calendar. At least a “me time” evening per week. (Not that easy when I already have judo on Monday and Friday, and singing on Wednesday.) Also, how about keeping a Saturday a month to deal with domestic affairs? That’s not free time, but it’s a class of activities I should reserve time for. And maybe I should have a week-end a month without any plans? Does being at the chalet count as a plan? (I’m afraid it probably does…)

I’ve been reconnecting with my desire to “design” my living space so it can serve me better. I’ve two weeks set aside for that in October, and enough ideas to keep my busy two whole months. I’ve started doing a little planning so I can adjust my expectations and have a chance of seeing them squeeze into reality.

I have a very hard time with the concrete step of keeping time free in my calendar. Each empty evening, each free week-end day is courted by a long list of candidates who would like to make good use of this time. I struggle. I try to resist. Sometimes I manage.

Example: this week-end, I had a plan with a friend. A two-day plan. It was fun and exciting and we were looking forward to it. Unfortunately we miscommunicated and it fell through (no hard feelings on either side). My initial impulse was to recycle the plan with somebody else. Who would I extend the invitation to? I managed to stop and breathe before sending out messages. I have been over-busy these last weeks, I haven’t cleaned my flat since I got back from holidays, I am like butter stretched over too much bread, as Bilbo Baggins would say.

I decided to wait, digest the disappointment of the canceled plan. Maybe I could still do something Saturday – not a two-day thing, but something on my list of fun activities to do with people? I sent out feelers.

I started thinking about what would be reasonable. Oh, reasonable! Of course, have a quiet week-end at home. I have a big pile of admin tasks screaming at me (I’ve been putting my hands over my ears for the last few weeks), and did I mention how dirty my flat was? Oh, and maybe just having some downtime would be nice.

I realised that one of the reasons I was tempted to organise a “fun activity” to make up for the cancelled one was that I wasn’t certain that I would be able to give myself “off time” if I stayed home. My whole week-end could disappear in tasks like cleaning, laundry, tidying, shopping, doing the dishes, paying bills, getting back to people, ordering stuff, planning the next weeks and my holidays…

I finally managed to go the “quiet week-end” route. The more I thought about it, the more the prospect of being able to clean my flat felt attractive. I made a deal with myself: do my “stuff” in the morning, and take time off in the afternoon. I managed (made good progress on the puzzle you can see – finished it tonight).

It felt really good to have time to tidy things up. It’s nice to be in a place that is at least minimally clean. My conscience is lighter, having knocked off a couple of admin emergencies from my list (there are more). I’m hanging on to this feeling so that when comes the time to decide what I’m doing with my next weeks and week-ends, I remember that this is also something I want to do – not just wandering around mountains, hanging out on the lake, being with people, putting together jigsaw puzzles or reading a book. (And I could go on.)

Layer one: remember “domestic time” and “me time”.
Layer two: add in “buffer time”.

This feels stressful. It feels like I won’t be able to do everything I want to do and enjoy doing. But I’m hanging in there and trying to ignore that feeling.