Steph Booth: Not Running for Parliament! [en]

[fr] A la lumière des récents événements, il ne m'est plus possible de rester dans la course pour le Parlement britannique... Article en Anglais pour toucher l'électorat un maximum.

It seems that my attempts to subvert British democracy by running in the forthcoming parliamentary elections are starting to be hard to keep under wraps, despite my careful use of a wig and face mask for public appearances. As I will be travelling to Leeds on Sunday, and in the light of recent controversy, I would like to put to rest the question of my participation in the elections.

I think it is quite clear now that given the current circumstances and the facts that have come to light, I cannot run for MP. My lack of involvement in local Calder Valley politics is starting to be hard to camouflage, and the fact that I have my main residence abroad is clearly an issue for many.

I deeply regret this, though, for had I stood a chance in this election, free bandwidth, Twitter accounts, and Swiss chocolate for all would have become a reality, as well as “change that we can believe in”. My meteoric rise to fame in the recent weeks, however, has convinced me to leave the Labour party behind and put my efforts into the creation of a proper Pirate Party in the United Kingdom.

As you are now most certainly aware, it is the discovery of my secret blog by an astute member of the Hebden Bridge Web Forum which has set all this in motion. I would like to assure those of you who know me as a social media strategist and consultant that my writings on Climb to the Stars will not cease, even though they have been judged pretty harshly:

Stephanie Booth’s blog will on its own cause plenty of people to doubt her fitness for purpose as a prospective MP. Big chunks of it are in French and most of the rest is geeky drivel about her phone, computer, Twitter et al. No local issues, or much at all outside herself. Hardly evidence of a shrewd political mind keen to grapple with the economic and social problems of the Upper Valley.

Graham Barker on Hebden Bridge Web Forum 2009

The geeky drivel which has entertained and enlightened you over the past nine years will be the backbone upon which I will build the future of my political career, and I trust that all of my supporters will follow me on this new path. In the meantime, if any of my fellow candidates would like to benefit from my expertise in social media, now that I am out of the race, please feel free to get in touch.

Disclaimer: the other Steph Booth is not a social media consultant (but at least she’s using WordPress). No hard feelings, but I’ll be very upset if she gets her Wikipedia page before I do. Many thanks to Suw for drawing my attention to this issue, and for her editorial assistance in preparing this declaration. She and her husband Kevin have already been hired as the official speechwriters for my next campaign.

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